welcome to Silently Into The Night
Hello and welcome! We are a modern-day reincarnation AU of the novel/donghua/drama Mó Dào Zǔ Shī, also known as Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation, Chén Qíng Lìng, or The Untamed. The characters have been reincarnated into modern day, where some have regained their memories of their cultivation days, while others have not yet. Original characters are accepted, but please have a good story for them if they were a cultivator in their past life. The RP takes place in Palo Alto, California, and is set in the current year.
Modern Reincarnation AU
silently into the night redeim
Blueprint is a premade Proboards v5 theme designed and built by punki of Adoxography and Pixel Perfect. SILENTLY INTO THE NIGHT is the work of REDEIM. All characters and content are copyright their creators, and may not be replicated without their creators' permission. Mó Dào Zǔ Shī is copyright Mo Xiang Tong Xiu. All images belong to their original owners.
updates
JULY 07, 2020
And we're officially open! Feel free to leave questions or chat with us in the cbox. :)
JULY 06, 2020
Soft opening of the site!
Family Dinner (A-Yuan) [COMPLETED]
A-Yuan
MDZS Character
Yes
Questioning
Single
Velexa
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Jul 18, 2020 23:37:16 GMT -8
Post by A-Yuan on Jul 18, 2020 23:37:16 GMT -8
A-Yuan fell backwards when Jingyi launched himself at him. He patted Jingyi's back, trying to make sense of the word salad he was dishing out. He tentatively took the ribbon from his friend, just holding it.
He understood that whatever had happened had obviously freaked everyone out but he was trying to talk himself down as he felt himself move towards another round of hyperventilation and dry heaves. "How do I make-" he took a deep breath, trying to stay calm, "the ribbon work?" He took another breath, but they were starting to come closer together again.
It was one thing to be unsure if he and Lan Sizhui were different people or the same people, but for Sizhui to take over and essentially kicked A-Yuan out of his own body was terrifying. It meant that maybe he wasn't actually the real one and this wasn't his place or time. He felt himself heave again, as he hurriedly removed himself from Jingyi's arms in case something did come up.
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Lan Jingyi
MDZS Character
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Jul 18, 2020 23:53:09 GMT -8
Post by Lan Jingyi on Jul 18, 2020 23:53:09 GMT -8
Jingyi shifted himself around so that he could plaster himself to A-Yuan's back and wrap his arms loosely around his friend, trying to convey feelings of comfort with it. Wangji-ge was the one who actually answered his question, pouring Uncle a cup of tea and handing it to him. He said, "Put your fingers on the metal part and focus on just feeling it. Put your entire focus into that sensation. Tracing the design can help. I can help you feel more connected to reality and your body as something that is here in the real world. It's also used to symbolize restraint, a reminder to think before you act."
Jingyi murmured sheepishly, "I'm not as good at that part."
He could tell that Uncle looked exhausted as he drank the tea that Wangji-ge had put in his hand. Jingyi was glad at least that he'd thought to grab that.
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A-Yuan
MDZS Character
Yes
Questioning
Single
Velexa
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Jul 19, 2020 8:27:19 GMT -8
Post by A-Yuan on Jul 19, 2020 8:27:19 GMT -8
A-Yuan sat back again on his haunches, letting Jingyi cling to his back as he put his fingers on the metal design on the ribbon. He tried to fall back into the breathe in, hold, breathe out, hold pattern while tracing the design.
His focus wasn't holding, but he was feeling better. "Jingyi are you shaking?" he asked, placing a hand on Jingyi's arm around him. "I'm okay, you can let me go. I don't think I can meditate if you're holding me like this," he said gently. A-Yuan wasn't entirely sure that Jingyi letting go was a good thing, but he wanted to try and get these emotions and memories under some sort of control. If he went home now, things might actually be worse than before.
He turned to Wangji and Qiren, "I'd like to try again, with the ribbon this time." He noticed how worn out Qiren looked, "I'm sorry for being burden," he bowed his head.
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Lan Jingyi
MDZS Character
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Jul 19, 2020 18:30:19 GMT -8
Post by Lan Jingyi on Jul 19, 2020 18:30:19 GMT -8
Jingyi realized that he was, in fact, shaking when A-Yuan mentioned it. He laughed a small sheepish laugh and slowly let A-Yuan go, scooting a little bit away, but staying close enough that he could reach out and catch his friend easily if something went wrong.
Wangji-ge gave Uncle a questioning look, and Uncle said, "We can potentially try again, but first, I would like to hear what you remember of the first session. Don't try to think about the memories too hard, just let me know what you know about where you got lost. I am going to try to help you focus on the control and emotional regulation first."
Wangji-ge said softly, "I am not as good at it as Uncle, but I can help with clearing the qi blockage if I need to."
Jingyi looked at his cousin surprised. He figured that it shouldn't have surprised him to much, Wangji-ge was well known to be Uncle's best student. Jingyi reached out and squeezed A-Yuan's hand quickly and said, "You don't have to push yourself. We can focus on the stuff that will help you keep yourself calm first."
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A-Yuan
MDZS Character
Yes
Questioning
Single
Velexa
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Jul 19, 2020 18:41:21 GMT -8
Post by A-Yuan on Jul 19, 2020 18:41:21 GMT -8
A-Yuan continued running his fingers along the metal, "I think I got lost when I saw Jingyi and I laughing together. It was just our faces, so I couldn't sort out where it went," he felt the panic try to surge again but took deep breath.
"Then I remember blackness. Just an empty void. It was quiet and deafening all at the same time." He tried to think about it more, "the next thing I remember is asking you all what happened and everyone looking at me, very concerned. Did I do something? You said I was Sizhui, did he take me over?" He stabbed a corner of the metal into his thumb, trying to keep himself grounded and from freaking out. He didn't even flinch or seem to notice when it drew a bead of blood from the pad of his thumb.
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Lan Jingyi
MDZS Character
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Jul 19, 2020 18:57:59 GMT -8
Post by Lan Jingyi on Jul 19, 2020 18:57:59 GMT -8
Wangji-ge was the first to reply, though his comment was half directed to Uncle and half to A-Yuan. He said, "We should perhaps have you categorize memories with Jingyi into their own room to deal with last. Those are likely to be the most confusing. Part of the point of this process is to let you sort, not to have you spend time focusing on the memories themselves. That is where the confusion will end up happening."
Uncle nodded. Then Wangji-ge continued, "Sizhui did not take you over, but you were operating on his memories. Sizhui is only in your memory. He is not a separate consciousness. However, you managed to block your this life memories temporarily and so you were only thinking with the memories you had of Sizhui. Uncle was able to clear it by clearing your qi points."
Jingyi said, "From what Uncle told me once, blocking your own memories out when you're working with past life memories is often connected to dealing with some sort of traumas, and the worse the confusion is the easier it is to get a little lost. It's fixable though, and Wangji-ge and Uncle can both do something about it if you get lost again, but it sounds like Wangji-ge's idea will help keep that from happening. We have the relationship that's the most similar between the two lives."
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A-Yuan
MDZS Character
Yes
Questioning
Single
Velexa
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Jul 19, 2020 19:20:27 GMT -8
Post by A-Yuan on Jul 19, 2020 19:20:27 GMT -8
A-Yuan nodded as he listened to the explanations, unconsciously sucking the blood off his thumb. "Okay, so if I try again, I have three rooms? And anything Jingyi related goes into the third room?"
He still wasn't sure he fully believed that Lan Sizhui wasn't a separate person living inside him. "So where did I go when Sizhui's memories were in charge? Why was I in that void and why don't I remember anything that happened? If I was still here, then where was I?" He had started digging the metal into his palm now as his heart rate started to pick up again.
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Lan Jingyi
MDZS Character
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Jul 19, 2020 20:01:59 GMT -8
Post by Lan Jingyi on Jul 19, 2020 20:01:59 GMT -8
Uncle finished his tea and straightened up a bit, looking less drained than he had a little bit before. He said, "That is correct, you'll have three rooms, one for clearly the past, one for clearly the present, and one for anything Jingyi related or possibly just anything where you are uncertain."
Jingyi was relieved that Uncle seemed to be on top of things again, instead of letting Wangji-ge take the lead. He trusted Uncle to be good at being an adult, and Wangji-ge was only a few years older than them this life. That sometimes didn't feel nearly adult enough to be in charge, though he'd much rather let Wangji-ge be in charge than try to be in charge himself.
Uncle listened carefully to A-Yuan's concerns and said, "I don't know how familiar you are with modern Western psychological explanations, but the simplest way to explain it might be that you had a panic attack and went into a dissociative state. When that sort of thing happens, you aren't connecting to your own actions or memories very clearly. From the research that we've done within the family and the remaining community, it seems that having a dissociative episode can result in basically acting on the framework of past life memories because they seem to float to the top for you to grasp on to. But your past life memories can't take you over because they do not have a consciousness. You can't bring up that person and have a conversation with them, they're just part of your memories. It's a sort of temporary amnesia where you only have access to one part of your memories and act as though those are the only ones that exist. It's generally quite confusing. It's also not that common because it seems to only occur with certain very specific combinations of trauma, being unprepared for the memories to resurface, and a certain tendency towards the dissociative episodes, which often comes along with trauma."
Jingyi made a little bit of a face and reached out to squeeze A-Yuan's shoulder reassuringly. He didn't know exactly how reassuring Uncle was being. He said, trying to translate a little bit, "It's almost like part of your brain passed out from the stress for a little bit and then we helped you wake back up. It sucks and it's scary, but getting the worry under control will help you not have it happen again. It sounds like it happened when you got too worried about getting part of the process wrong, but also, it's OK if you make mistakes. And it's OK if you have a brain room for stuff that you just aren't sure about, even if it's not the stuff with just me."
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A-Yuan
MDZS Character
Yes
Questioning
Single
Velexa
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Jul 19, 2020 20:15:09 GMT -8
Post by A-Yuan on Jul 19, 2020 20:15:09 GMT -8
A-Yuan actually felt himself relax a little when he heard the term 'dissociative state'. It was medical and somewhat recognizable. If he had a word for it, that made it better.
"Could we try again?" he asked, covering the metal part of the headband in his palm and rubbing the ribbon between his fingers. "I think I'm ready to try again."
He got back into a comfortable position and started breathing deeply again, matching the count Qiren had given earlier. He knew he probably should have waited, but he wanted this fixed, now.
He managed to fall back into that meditative state where memories floated to him. He pretended he had a clear umbrella in front of him, so he could look at each memory, but not engage with it.
Any time one with Jingyi came up, he felt that moment of panic, but his Jingyi room was essentially eating those memories for him in order to protect him. As he got the hang of the memory sorting, he felt himself relax further.
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Lan Jingyi
MDZS Character
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Jul 19, 2020 20:37:02 GMT -8
Post by Lan Jingyi on Jul 19, 2020 20:37:02 GMT -8
As A-Yuan tried again, Wangji-ge went and started to play again, music soothing and familiar to Jingyi. Jingyi watched A-Yuan carefully as Uncle started giving his instructions again, much the same as the time before.
Jingyi relaxed bit by bit as A-Yuan seemed to relax as well, not tensing up this time the way he had before. Jingyi was still alert, not sure precisely how he could help but knowing that he wanted to be ready if something bad happened.
He glanced at Wangji-ge and saw a similar sort of watchful protectiveness on his cousin's face. That was kind of a relief as well. He was happy that Wangji-ge was watching out for A-Yuan. His eyes lingered on the ribbon that A-Yuan now held, and he felt a certain extra swell of fondness to see it. It seemed right that A-Yuan would have one.
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A-Yuan
MDZS Character
Yes
Questioning
Single
Velexa
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Jul 19, 2020 21:00:18 GMT -8
Post by A-Yuan on Jul 19, 2020 21:00:18 GMT -8
A-Yuan took a deep breath and opened his eyes, "there's a lot of them, but it seems much easier this time."
He reached up and touched the cross around his neck, the sisters had given it to him as a child and he's worn it for as long as he can remember. "I think I need an exorcism," he said, staring ahead, not really looking at anyone.
"I should go," he said, getting up as if in a trance. He bowed at Lan Qiren, then Wangji then Jingyi then dropped the bloodied ribbon and stumbled towards the front door.
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Lan Jingyi
MDZS Character
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Jul 19, 2020 21:08:48 GMT -8
Post by Lan Jingyi on Jul 19, 2020 21:08:48 GMT -8
Jingyi didn't encounter words that he didn't know in English all that often, but he said confused, "What's an exorcism?"
At the same time, Uncle, clearly disgruntled, said, "You have memories, not ghosts. Whatever the actual effectiveness of such things, it wouldn't be the right method."
Jingyi was startled by the blood on the ribbon as A-Yuan dropped it. He grabbed the ribbon from where it had fallen on the floor, figuring he would clean it and give it back to A-Yuan, and as his friend headed for the door, he hurried to catch up with him and said, "I'll walk you back. I don't want to leave you alone."
He pocketed the ribbon, figuring that he could deal with it later.
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A-Yuan
MDZS Character
Yes
Questioning
Single
Velexa
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Jul 19, 2020 21:16:22 GMT -8
Post by A-Yuan on Jul 19, 2020 21:16:22 GMT -8
A-Yuan turned back to Qiren, "are the memories not just demons? Am I not crazy?" He teetered for a second, dizzy.
"What's happ-" his words were cut off as he collapsed to the ground, unconscious.
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Lan Jingyi
MDZS Character
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Jul 19, 2020 21:36:06 GMT -8
Post by Lan Jingyi on Jul 19, 2020 21:36:06 GMT -8
Jingyi had gotten close enough that he caught A-Yuan on his way down, keeping him from running the risk of hitting his head, though ending up with both of them on the floor, just in a more controlled way than the fall would have been otherwise.
He carefully scooped A-Yuan up and stood, picking his friend up for the second time that evening. He brought A-Yuan back over to the recliner, and Wangji-ge had already somehow gone to the kitchen and reappeared with a cold damp cloth and some fresh mint leaves.
Jingyi took them from him without saying anything, too worried about A-Yuan to focus on much else. He took the ribbon out of his pocket and handed it to Wangji-ge, figuring his cousin would know how to handle it. With the cool cloth in one hand, he gently wiped A-Yuan's face and crushed the mint leaves in the other to wave them under A-Yuan's nose, find the the cool, clean scent calming to his own nerves as well.
Uncle grumbled in Chinese, "That church has given him ideas that are hurting him. I would very much like to tell them all the things that they've done wrong, but that would likely make the situation worse."
Jingyi didn't say anything, but it was reassuring to hear Uncle voice a concern that he was having. Wangji-ge reappeared at his shoulder not much later, and handed him the ribbon, now clean of blood. Jingyi wasn't sure that it would help, but he looped it around A-Yuan's wrist a few times, tying a loose bow in it so that A-Yuan could take it off easily if he wanted to. He hoped that the talisman built into it would be soothing to A-Yuan somehow though.
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A-Yuan
MDZS Character
Yes
Questioning
Single
Velexa
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Jul 19, 2020 21:55:54 GMT -8
Post by A-Yuan on Jul 19, 2020 21:55:54 GMT -8
A-Yuan's nose twitched and he sneezed himself awake. "What..." he trailed off. This was the umpteenth time this evening he'd opened his eyes to see the entire Lan family looking at him with concern.
"What did I do now?" He placed his hand on the cool cloth, "is there any water?" He was parched from the evening and dreading the fact that he might have to call the sisters to let him stay over. First off, he was pretty sure he had a lot more work to do tonight before he could feel truly better and second, he wasn't sure he had the physical strength to get home.
"I'm sorry, this doesn't seem to be going the way we wanted it to." He let his eyes drift shut again and moved the damp cloth to the back of his neck.
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