welcome to Silently Into The Night
Hello and welcome! We are a modern-day reincarnation AU of the novel/donghua/drama Mó Dào Zǔ Shī, also known as Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation, Chén Qíng Lìng, or The Untamed. The characters have been reincarnated into modern day, where some have regained their memories of their cultivation days, while others have not yet. Original characters are accepted, but please have a good story for them if they were a cultivator in their past life. The RP takes place in Palo Alto, California, and is set in the current year.
Modern Reincarnation AU
silently into the night redeim
Blueprint is a premade Proboards v5 theme designed and built by punki of Adoxography and Pixel Perfect. SILENTLY INTO THE NIGHT is the work of REDEIM. All characters and content are copyright their creators, and may not be replicated without their creators' permission. Mó Dào Zǔ Shī is copyright Mo Xiang Tong Xiu. All images belong to their original owners.
updates
JULY 07, 2020
And we're officially open! Feel free to leave questions or chat with us in the cbox. :)
JULY 06, 2020
Soft opening of the site!
Family Dinner (A-Yuan) [COMPLETED]
Lan Jingyi
MDZS Character
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Jul 18, 2020 19:39:16 GMT -8
Post by Lan Jingyi on Jul 18, 2020 19:39:16 GMT -8
Jingyi stayed with A-Yuan while he went through the cycle of stress dry heaving and hyperventilating, rubbing his friend's back and mostly murmuring softly in a mix of Chinese and English trying to make soothing sounds.
During one of the lulls, he said softly, "When you're feeling up to it, going out there and seeing if the meditating will help might be worth a try. It will probably help you feel calmer and it should help with beginning to sort out the memories so that they're not so overwhelming."
When A-Yuan lay down on the tile, clearly exhausted, Jingyi asked quietly, "Hey, do you want me to bring you somewhere a little more comfortable to rest? You don't have to do any of the moving yourself, I can carry you. It's not far. I'm pretty sure Wangji-ge will play something soothing whether or not you're up to trying the meditating."
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A-Yuan
MDZS Character
Yes
Questioning
Single
Velexa
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Jul 18, 2020 20:03:13 GMT -8
Post by A-Yuan on Jul 18, 2020 20:03:13 GMT -8
A-Yuan tried to get up but couldn't manage it, "please..." he whispered hoarsely. "I want to try the meditating... I might have to be in corpse pose though," he tried to laugh at his own joke but it only caused him to dry heave again. Knowing nothing was coming up, he didn't even bother trying to get to the toilet this time.
He was hoping the combination of music and memory untangling would improve his situation, otherwise he thought he might be heading for the ER again soon. The sisters would never agree to him coming over regularly if he had to go to the ER after attending a dinner party.
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Lan Jingyi
MDZS Character
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Jul 18, 2020 20:14:18 GMT -8
Post by Lan Jingyi on Jul 18, 2020 20:14:18 GMT -8
Jingyi was concerned. But he didn't want to make A-Yuan more upset by seeming upset. He moved the cup of water up to the counter, figuring that he could get another one for his friend later but would probably be better off not knocking it over. He carefully scooped A-Yuan up, more than strong enough to comfortably carry his friend.
As he walked them out to the living room, he said, "There's a reclining chair thing. It will probably help you settle to not be quite flat, but be able to lean back. I'll put you there."
He gave Wangji-ge a helpless little look as he walked by where his cousin had set up the guqin, and he pointed to it with his foot and nodded, relieved when Wangji-ge started playing one of the traditional soothing songs. Jingyi could sing or hum them, but instruments hadn't really been his strong point. He had a good voice though, and had focused most of his musical training there.
He used his foot to push the lever on the side of the recliner, and carefully lowered A-Yuan so that he could lean back and relax. He perched on the arm of the chair, even though he knew that it wasn't Uncle's favorite habit, and gently patted his friend's hair. He looked over at Uncle and asked quietly, "Do you think that a meditation would help with the stress of it all and the starting to get the memories under control? He said he wants to try and see if it would help."
Uncle nodded and replied, "When A-Yuan is ready."
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A-Yuan
MDZS Character
Yes
Questioning
Single
Velexa
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Jul 18, 2020 20:22:45 GMT -8
Post by A-Yuan on Jul 18, 2020 20:22:45 GMT -8
A-Yuan had wrapped his arms around Jingyi's neck when he picked him up. It was a loose hold, but the most he could manage. His earlier embarrassment was gone, considering he'd been puking his guts up in the bathroom for the past twenty minutes he felt he was beyond shame now.
He closed his eyes and rested as Jingyi situated him. Once settled he took a few breaths, listening to the guqin. It was familiar and calming. He opened his eyes and nodded at Jingyi, trying to signal he was ready to begin. He was too afraid to open his mouth again, it was too parched and he was too tired to dry heave again.
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Lan Jingyi
MDZS Character
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Jul 18, 2020 20:33:46 GMT -8
Post by Lan Jingyi on Jul 18, 2020 20:33:46 GMT -8
Jingyi nodded to Uncle, and slipped down to sit on the floor letting his should rest against A-Yuan's leg so that his friend would know where he was.
Uncle waited for Jingyi to settle, looking at A-Yuan with concern, then started talking in a smooth, calming instructor voice. "Once your eyes are closed, take a deep breath in on my count, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, and hold it, and then out for, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9. And pause, and in for 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, and hold..."
Jingyi almost stopped hearing the breathing instructions as they continued repeating for a while, letting his breathing fall into the regular pattern in, hold, out, hold. Eventually Uncle said, "Focus on just your breathing, and holding that pattern, feel the way it goes in and out of your lungs and your throat. That feeling is part of your here and now, the life and body that you have, and the breath is one of the very first things that guides your qi."
Jingyi remembered hearing this explanation to an extent, though the first time he'd heard it, he'd been far too young for it to really stick in his head, but in China, he'd sat with other cousins and done these breathing exercises, focusing on control and sense of self. It was calming, even if it was a little bit strange to hear the explanation in English. He focused on his own breathing, but also his sense of A-Yuan next to him where his shoulder pressed gently against A-Yuan's leg, paying attention for the feeling of his friend starting to relax.
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A-Yuan
MDZS Character
Yes
Questioning
Single
Velexa
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Jul 18, 2020 20:46:04 GMT -8
Post by A-Yuan on Jul 18, 2020 20:46:04 GMT -8
A-Yuan closed his eyes followed the instructions. Breathing in slowly, holding, breathing out and holding. His mind kept wanting to race around him and ask questions but he kept pushing thoughts aside, trying to focus on just his breathing.
Eventually he could narrow his focus to his breathing, Qiren's voice, the guqin and Jingyi's shoulder against his leg. He kept breathing deeply, feeling calmer and steadier than he had since he'd entered the Lan household.
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Lan Jingyi
MDZS Character
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Jul 18, 2020 21:05:10 GMT -8
Post by Lan Jingyi on Jul 18, 2020 21:05:10 GMT -8
Jingyi could feel it when A-Yuan settled, tension melting out of his frame. That was good. He wasn't sure if Uncle would move on to the next step, but he kept just letting the thoughts drift across his mind. The rhythm of the music echoed the rhythm of the breathing, making it easy to keep the pattern once it was achieved. Jingyi listened, still keeping most of his focus on A-Yuan as Uncle started talking again.
Uncle's voice was soft and steady, helping to maintain the breathing rhythm by being in short bursts. "Keep holding that pattern of breathing. But let thoughts drift up slowly. As the first thought floats to the surface. Do not engage with it. But observe it. Where is this thought from? What does it have to say for itself? Consider when it is from. And place it in a mental room. You aren't dealing with the thoughts and memories now. Just acknowledging them. Noticing them and putting them away. Some thoughts will be harder to look at. But just one at a time. And think what room it belongs in. Some of the memories will be from this life. What defines them? What makes them A-Yuan? Here breathing in this room. Some of them will be from the past life. What makes them the past? Let them float up slowly. Don't dive into them. And all through. Keep breathing."
Jingyi hadn't done this with guidance for a long time. He let the worries about A-Yuan float past him, acknowledging them but not engaging. He let images of Lan Sizhui injured or in danger from their past life and friendship float past him, acknowledging the similarity. It was a soothing ritual for him in its own right. He rarely did seated meditation, generally preferring meditative forms, but sometimes, like this, it was a good feeling.
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A-Yuan
MDZS Character
Yes
Questioning
Single
Velexa
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Jul 18, 2020 21:46:19 GMT -8
Post by A-Yuan on Jul 18, 2020 21:46:19 GMT -8
A-Yuan breathed deeply, trying to let the first thought come up and greet him. He tried to remember to only look and not engage with it. He saw himself as a child, clinging to Lan Wangji's leg, he pushed that thought into a 'past' room.
Next he saw himself on his knees in a church, praying, he pushed that thought into a 'now' room.
His next thought was harder to figure out. It was just himself and Jingyi laughing. He could only see their faces and had no idea where to place that thought. He felt his breathing catch, falling out of rhythm. When was this? Did this even happen? Or was it going to happen? Was this Lan Sizhui or A-Yuan? He started to hyperventilate again, his breathing preventing him from hearing Qiren anymore.
He sat up quickly from the chair, leaning over and coughing a little, calming his breaths. "Master Lan, what was that?" he looked up and asked, sinking down to the floor to sit in the seiza style and pulling himself into the proper posture of a member of the Lan Clan.
He quickly brought his arms together in front of him and offered Lan Qiren a bow, "Master Lan," then another bow to Lan Wangji, "Hanguang-jun." He glanced to Jingyi at his side and cleared his throat at him, encouraging him to bow as well.
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Lan Jingyi
MDZS Character
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Jul 18, 2020 21:54:37 GMT -8
Post by Lan Jingyi on Jul 18, 2020 21:54:37 GMT -8
Jingyi was on his feet almost as soon as A-Yuan started going stiff, reaching out to shake him too slowly considering A-Yuan moved almost as quickly as he did. Something was definitely off with A-Yuan though. He was using the wrong names and seemed rattled.
Wangji-ge stood from the guqin then and came to sit in front of A-Yuan. He said, "A-Yuan, that is not this life, and it is not a title that I have taken in this life."
Jingyi came and plopped himself next to A-Yuan on the floor and looked at him questioningly, "What did you remember? What's got you confused?"
Uncle was watching them carefully, but he did not say anything yet. Jingyi was tempted to reach out and shake A-Yuan out of it, but he wasn't sure that that was a good idea, it seemed like a fragile moment.
Wangji-ge nodded at Jingyi's questions and said softly, "Can you go over what you saw when meditating? What you saw right before you tensed up especially?"
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A-Yuan
MDZS Character
Yes
Questioning
Single
Velexa
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Jul 18, 2020 22:08:30 GMT -8
Post by A-Yuan on Jul 18, 2020 22:08:30 GMT -8
Lan Sizhui looked at them confused. "Not this life? I don't understand Hanguang-jun." He looked at his surroundings, "where is this place? Where's Master Wei and Uncle Wen Ning?"
He looked down at himself, surprised he wasn't in his robes. He immediately reached up to his forehead, "my headband!" He looked at Jingyi, then Lan Wangji, then Lan Qiren, "our headbands?" He was visibly upset with where he was and what was going on, but was holding it together far better then A-Yuan had been earlier.
"Were we meditating? The last thing I remember was being in Cloud Recess," he looked to Jingyi, "we were going to go feed the bunnies."
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Lan Jingyi
MDZS Character
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Jul 18, 2020 22:30:14 GMT -8
Post by Lan Jingyi on Jul 18, 2020 22:30:14 GMT -8
Jingyi had only seen Wangji-ge give that particular helpless, confused look to Uncle once since he'd come to the US, though that time it had been over Jingyi panicking. Wangji-ge was worried, and that certainly didn't help Jingyi's own calm. Wangji-ge was usually calm. Jingyi had never heard of something like this happening, he thought about it for a little bit, trying to remember what he'd heard about bad cases. He'd only heard a little bit about Wangji-ge's, which had happened when he was far younger than this, and he'd heard about a few that happened with people who hadn't been noticed and helped for many years, ones that hadn't been into the old families that still kept track of this stuff.
While he was wracking his brains, trying to think of some sort of explanation, why A-Yuan was clearly very lost in himself right now, relying more on his memories of his life as Sizhui than what had happened in this life. He quickly unknotted his ribbon from his wrist and held it out to A-Yuan, saying, "Here."
He knew that there was an extra somewhere in the house, and he'd go find it in a minute. It felt hugely strange to not have the ribbon's silk tied around his wrist when he wasn't getting ready to bathe which was normally the only time he ever removed it. There was a weird pang in his chest at handing it to A-Yuan too, somewhere between memory and intimacy. He shook his head and said, a touch strained and loudly, "I'm going to go get tea, and we'll figure this out."
Uncle didn't scold him for being too loud, as he came to sit in front of A-Yuan, and there was clearly concern on his face. Uncle said, "Even if you are only operating with your memories as Sizhui right now, you know about past lives, that has been part of our teachings for longer than that. You are Sizhui, but you are not this Sizhui, and something is hiding you from yourself right now. We should meditate and Wangji will play, and you can answer."
He nodded to Wangji who somewhat reluctantly went back to the guqin and started playing Inquiry. Uncle told Sizhui, "For now, I need you to meditate with me."
Jingyi slipped away fully from the room, running up the stairs quietly until he got to the study where important supplies were kept and found one of the spare ribbons. It wasn't his so it felt a little strange around his wrist, but he figured that once Uncle figured out what was wrong with A-Yuan, they could swap and Jingyi would have his normal ribbon back, and A-Yuan would have a ribbon. Maybe that would be something that would help him.
A thought finally registered in Jingyi's mind, Trauma. It didn't happen often, but sometimes trauma in the current life made the overwhelming nature of the memories act as something to block out the trauma, which could cause memory loss and confusion.
He rushed back downstairs, thankful that there had already been tea ready and sitting to warm, and he brought it with him back into the room. He placed it on the low table and then knelt at Uncle's side and whispered, voice low enough that he hoped that it wouldn't be super obvious, "Trauma memory loss and confusion?"
Uncle was the one who'd told him about it, in some of his more advanced lessons, so he hoped that the short phrase would at least give Uncle a direction to go.
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A-Yuan
MDZS Character
Yes
Questioning
Single
Velexa
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Jul 18, 2020 22:43:40 GMT -8
Post by A-Yuan on Jul 18, 2020 22:43:40 GMT -8
Sizhui widened his eyes and let Jingyi's ribbon fall into his lap, not touching it. "Why would you give me this, no one else is supposed to touch it," he said, trying to be respectful of the ribbon, but avoid accidentally binding and essentially promising himself to his friend. He watched Jingyi go in confusion.
He turned back to the Lan Qiren and nodded in response to the meditation, comfortable with following orders. He sat in a more comfortable pose for meditating and slipped easily back into that calm state. It was a common practice for Sizhui so he didn't find it challenging, though Hanguang-jun's playing was not as he remembered it, so that was slightly distracting.
"What question did you want me to answer, Master Lan?" Sizhui asked, eyes still closed.
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Lan Jingyi
MDZS Character
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Jul 18, 2020 23:05:37 GMT -8
Post by Lan Jingyi on Jul 18, 2020 23:05:37 GMT -8
Jingyi stared at his ribbon in A-Yuan's lap and realized that that had been stupid. This was clearly younger Sizhui than the furthest Sizhui in his own memory for one, and for another, the ribbons had been much stricter then. These days, it was only people you were close to, and A-Yuan certainly qualified as that, and would have at that stage in their past lives as well, but it had been parents and spouses and children back then.
Uncle gently touched his fingers to the pressure points on the side of A-Yuan's neck as he said, "Focus on your breathing and tell me what you notice about yourself. Simple meditation, clear your mind and let yourself drift in yourself."
Jingyi was surprised that he could see a small glow around Uncle's fingers. He knew that small amounts of qi manipulation were possible, mostly on yourself or through tools like music. Some people who did traditional medicine were really good at it. He forgot sometimes that Uncle was one of the best trained people in his generation, and there was a reason that he'd been sent to Uncle other than just that he lived in the right sort of place.
Uncle was focusing very heavily, and he raised a hand and placed to fingers between A-Yuan's eyes, with another little pulse. Jingyi though that it seemed like he was trying to clear something away and reconnect something. He knew enough about Inquiry to know that the part that Wangji-ge was playing was "Who are you?"
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A-Yuan
MDZS Character
Yes
Questioning
Single
Velexa
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Jul 18, 2020 23:13:25 GMT -8
Post by A-Yuan on Jul 18, 2020 23:13:25 GMT -8
Sizhui breathed deeply and stayed calm as Lan Qiren placed his hands on him, manipulating his qi. When his fingers pulsed between his eyes his mind went blank.
A-Yuan blinked his eyes a few times, as if he was just waking up to the sun shining in his face. He was surprised to see that Qiren had moved from his seat and was now directly in front of him. "What happened?" he asked, confused.
He reached into his lap and picked up Jingyi's ribbon, "why do I have this?" A-Yuan reached for Jingyi's arm and wrapped it back where it usually was. He noticed the three of them staring at him. "What? Did I cluck like a chicken? I thought we were doing meditation, not hypnotism..."
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Lan Jingyi
MDZS Character
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Jul 18, 2020 23:23:44 GMT -8
Post by Lan Jingyi on Jul 18, 2020 23:23:44 GMT -8
Jingyi tried his best to hide that he was nearly sobbing as he launched himself to hug his best friend. He muttered into A-Yuan's shoulder, "You kind of blanked out and could only remember Sizhui for a little bit. That sort of thing doesn't usually happen, and I was worried. The ribbon was a stupid idea though. But here, just a second."
He undid the second ribbon that he'd fetched from upstairs from his wrist and looked at Uncle questioningly. He was relieved when Uncle nodded, and Jingyi looped the other ribbon a few times around A-Yuan's wrist. He said, "Look, they're, um, grounding. Each member of the family gets one, and people who study with us usually just get a plain one, no metal ornament, but you're basically a part of the greater family, and you need something to help you connect to right now because that was a lot."
He looked at Uncle pleadingly, hoping that Uncle would help explain, not releasing his hold on A-Yuan.
Uncle said, "While disjointed, what Jingyi said is basically correct. Sometimes, when someone has sufficient trauma in one life, memories from another life can temporarily block them out from accessing their normal memories. It appears that something to that affect has been happening to you. The ribbon is a tool that can help with qi grounding, though it is mostly on its own just a piece of metal and some silk. It's something to focus on that is tied to safety and it's very hard to get swept away when you stay very focused on a specific physical feeling. It does mean that we will need to proceed more cautiously with helping you with your past memories. I am sorry that we did not proceed cautiously enough this time."
Jingyi added sheepishly, "And like, these days, you can let pretty much anyone you're close to touch the ribbon, which I forgot hasn't been always true, so I think that I made the situation even more confusing for a minute there. People used to wear them around the forehead, but most people wear them as bracelets or necklaces now because it's less noticeable that way."
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