Drawn to You (Wangji)

"It's just... since you mentioned you lived in China as a kid I thought maybe it would-" He paused, realizing Wangji had affirmed his question, not denied it. He let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding for so long. His smile was wide, and he stopped himself from jumping at Wangji to give him a hug. "I do remember..." He hesitated before continuing, "I started to get my memories when I was 16... At first I thought they were just... bad dreams." His face darkened. "Very... Very bad dreams." He shook his head. "Ever since I saw you again I've been trying to figure out if you remember because well... You're not easy to read. I've been calling you Lan Zhan so much though! Is that even your name in this life?!" He asked exasperated. "I panicked every time!!"

Wuxian nodded quickly, "Lots of times! And honestly I don't know if I'm relieved it's a name you have in this life or not because if you didn't have your memories you'd be wondering why I knew a name you didn't commonly use." He rambled.

"That is... Very early." He realized something, putting the dots together as he recalled Wangji mentioning he lived with his Uncle. "Was that... When your parents died?" He asked hesitantly. He was glad his memories didn't start coming to him when he lost his parents. It sounded like at least Wangji had support from family for it, but even at 16, he had no one to talk to about it, and that was something he especially wouldn't have told his foster family.

He shook his head, trying to get out of the 'what if' thoughts invading his mind, and smiled, looking way. "That memory was the first one to not be counted as a nightmare." He said softly.

He jumped back to an earlier comment, looking to Wangji, "So... The Lan clan - or I guess it'd just be called family now, huh? - actually lessened the rules throughout the years rather than add to them? How many are there now?" He asked, genuinely curious, but also wanting to change the conversation from the more heavy topics.

"Still no alcohol tolerance?" Wuxian asked with a sly grin. Even though he was only 20, he'd gotten a hold of enough alcohol through the years to know he had a strong tolerance for it. He wondered if Wangji had ever tried alcohol, and if so, if his drunk personality was the same as before.

He hesitated before replying, "Um... How much do you remember?" He tried pathetically, though it was a serious question. It'd be awkward to say he remembered them being together, living out married life, everyday means everyday, if Wangji didn't remember that. "I mean... I guess technically I remember about... thirteen or fourteenish... years further than my current age?" He tried hesitantly. He wiggled his hands, "The timing is kind of weird since I kind of... you know. Died." He said bluntly. He looked to the ground and added in a low whisper, "That was the first memory though." He felt cold suddenly, and wrapped his arms around himself.

Wuxian appreciated the arm touch, despite it being tentative, and then he realized Wangji had given him a proper time, though in his defense, saying age didn't really help either, as in that particular life he died around age 21, then was brought back thirteen years later in the body of someone younger than he would have been, so by the time he and Wangji had gotten together, he was kind of the same age as Wangji had been while also kind of still feeling like he was about 21, while also being however old Mo Xuanyu was. Figuring out age in fuzzy memories was hard enough without all that. "Um... yeah.. that age range sounds about right." He said, waving his hand. "After the initial death I have no idea how old I'm supposed to be in any of the memories." He said honestly, letting out a laugh.

He blinked as he looked up at Wangji, his chest hurting as the other man admitted to one of his first memories being Cloud Recesses burning. "Didn't you just say you were eight when you got your memories? That must have been terrifying..." He said. He wanted to hug him, but didn't want to push boundaries. But eventually, he couldn't stop himself, wiggling as he asked in a strained voice, "Can I hug you?"

Wuxian smiled at how Wangji responded before pulling him in for a hug. It felt so... natural, he almost felt like he'd been transported back to that time, and he was in the arms of someone who would protect him no matter what. Something in him missed what he technically never had, and he reminded himself they were still, technically, different people in this life, and just because they shared a past life together, didn't mean the same thing would happen this time. He pulled away and looked away from Wangji, beginning to walk towards their dorm room, but not without checking multiple times that Wangji was following him.

"Sorry I just..." He began, walking backwards to face Wangji, though he still couldn't look at him directly, "Remembering that gives me chills. And I usually seek out someone or something to cuddle. Thanks for letting me hug you."

Wuxian smiled at Wangji's response, both in that he had reciprocated the hug, and in agreeing to let him cuddle if he wanted to. Even so, he was worried about over stepping boundaries while also wanting to tell Wangji he still loved him and wanted to be with him. Which was silly, considering he wasn't even sure Wangji considered him a friend. He simply nodded in response, and then was quiet for the rest of the walk back to the dorm.

As they entered, he laid down on his bed, grabbing his flute and twirling it mindlessly. "Y'know... it's interesting. It's like... everyone we knew was also reincarnated at the same time. Huaisang is practically my best friend, Jiang Cheng and Yanli are my siblings. Even my adopted parents are the same, and my sister's getting married to the same guy." He shook his head, stilling the flute for a moment as he looked to Wangji. "But from what I know, everyone else I've met doesn't appear to have their memories - though I honestly have no clue about Huaisang... But I think the only real contrast in age was you mentioning Jingyi was already 16, when at our current age he would've still been a toddler. You said the Lan cl-family often got their memories, does this kind of reunion happen often? With all of us?" He asked curiously, propping himself up on his elbows and looking over to Wangji. Quietly, he added, "I've even met Jin Guangyao, though he goes by just Meng Yao now."

Wuxian thought for a moment over Wangji's words before smiling softly, "Interesting... Imagine if we had met through Huaisang earlier in this life." He mused. The more he thought about it, the more he wondered if their interactions would have been the same. After all, he had been just obnoxious as a teen as he was in his past life. He wondered for a moment if maybe fate had some sort of plan for them, reincarnating them all at the same time again. He wondered if maybe it was so this time they do things right, but mentally shook his head at the thought.

"I guess... That makes sense." He finally said. He was going to argue he didn't have strong cultivation after giving up his golden core, even after being reborn in Mo Xuanyu's body, but figured the demonic cultivation must've counted for something. "So does this mean you're gonna tell your family about me?" He asked, only half joking. He was actually curious, but wasn't keen to deal with the scrutiny of Lan Qiren.